Monday, September 12, 2011

Day 31-36

I'm back!  I promised Dana that I would keep the blog updated for a couple of weeks, because her schedule is a little overwhelming.  So we'll see how well I do.

I'm going to be honest.  This has been a crappy week!  I have felt worse than ever, no energy, no appetite, mouth sores, and low blood pressure.  When the doctor said he was going to make me feel lousy - he meant it.  It has been difficult to be very positive these past few days and I actually had a panic attack the other night just thinking about having to go back for the 4th treatment!  I am praying for some "good" days when I feel like ME and can eat whatever sounds good.  I don't mean to sound so negative, but that IS how I feel.  And that makes me mad because I am the "glass half full" person in our family.  I am the encourager.  I am the one who says "It could always be worse!"   I am the one who cheers everyone on when they fall down.  Apparently, it is more difficult when you try to do it for yourself.

I do know that I could feel worse.  I do know that I will make it through.  I do know that my days will get better.  I just want to feel good NOW!!!!!

The one bright spot in the past few days was when Dana and Bradleigh came Saturday night and stayed until Sunday afternoon.  My daughter, as you all know, is quite an amazing care giver.  I texted her Saturday morning and asked if she could come buy our groceries, because I just was not going to be able to.  Not only did she buy our groceries, but she put everything up, cleaned my kitchen, told me that everything would be okay, listened to me complain, and then spent the night.  Miss Bradleigh was an added blessing.  She is such a joy to me and her Poppa!

Tomorrow I go for lab work.  I will tell them how I have felt and they will try to "make it better."  Stay tuned for further updates.

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