Days 86-92

Here I sit at the computer yet again, attempting to put my thoughts and feelings into words, phrases and paragraphs to be read.  I have decided that this "journal" is probably more for me and Dana than for anyone else.  It will be a record of both fact and feeling during this unexpected and unwanted journey.

Tomorrow morning is the day I have both looked forward to and dreaded.  I will hear from my oncologist the results of my PETScan.  Dana and Daniel will be with me to hear the words.  I am trying to prepare myself for not hearing the exact words that I long to hear.  I thought that I would be really nervous tonight - unable to sleep.  BUT . . . I am relatively calm.  I will listen to what the doctor says and then we will move forward.  Whatever we learn tomorrow, I know that I can handle it.  God has given me both a peace and a fighting spirit.  So, CANCER, deal with that!!

Now, to end on a lighter note, let me tell you about the past six days.  I have had a ball!!  I began to feel better last Wednesday afternoon.  It is hard to describe, but it was as though energy was gradually filling my body.  And then at some point, I was all me again.  I was able to work most of Thursday and Friday.  I bought groceries Friday afternoon and "cased the joint" at Belk in preparation for the big Saturday sale.  Since Sunday was my birthday, I was looking for a gift for Dan to give me.  I had decided on a pair of boots, since I had never had any.  I am "branching out" in this new phase of my life!  Believe it or not, I found the perfect pair of black boots and bought them for myself!

Saturday was Charity Sale day at Belk and gift cards would be given to the first 100 shoppers.  Should I? . . . Could I? Would I?  Oh, yes, I did.  I lined up at 5:30 a.m.and enjoyed talking to the other crazy people lined up in 40 degree weather!  It was great fun to be one of the 100.  Even though my gift card was only for $5, it was worth it.  I had birthday money burning a hole in my pocket and I spent it all that day!!  I loved it!

Then I stopped at Starbucks for coffee and a scone.  What a special treat!   Thanks to whoever gave me the Starbucks gift card.  Following that, I went home and took a nap.  The rest of the day was spent preparing myself for the BIG GAME that night.  As usual, I was attired appropriately in my Alabama shirt, my Alabama earrings, necklace & bracelet, and my Alabama socks.  The final score was not what I wanted, but it was a great game and I am so proud of our team.  ROLL TIDE ROLL.

Sunday was my birthday.  The only sad aspect was that since the grandkids had been sick, I could not see them.  Germs and chemo do not mix well.  But I was entertained throughout the day with phone calls and "Happy Birthday to You's" from the most wonderful grandkids ever.  I asked Carter if he had been practicing since he sounded so good.  I heard him pause as he said, "No, I just know that song."  My sister-in-law Linda came from Oneonta for lunch and a visit.  We had a great time.

Today I was able to go to work.  My friends/co-workers had planned a wonderful birthday lunch and we enjoyed good food and fellowship.  Don't tell Dana, but one of the gifts I got today was a cute white kitchen towel with red lettering that reads "Crimson Kitchen."  She'll definitely want one just like it!!

I am so grateful for the past few GOOD DAYS.  My "batteries" have been recharged and I am ready for Treatment #7.  Bring it on..

Sandra